Volume 2, No. 4
Fall 2001
Keeping Kids on Track
 
October 23, 2001
MID-DAY NEWS
"KEEPING KIDS ON TRACK"
PUBLIC SERVICE PROGRAM
WCVB - CHANNEL 5

A DIALOGUE BETWEEN SUSAN WORNICK, WCVB CHANNEL 5 ANCHOR/REPORTER AND SUSAN P. CURNAN, THE HELLER SCHOOL FOR SOCIAL POLICY AND MANAGEMENT, BRANDEIS UNIVERSITY


SW: I would like to focus on two questions: How can we create conditions for kids to thrive and choose positive pathways? And what are the "immutable building blocks" for the development of healthy personalities, families, and communities?

SPC: Big questions! The short answer is twofold: attention and engagement.

About attention. It's been said, "attention is the greatest form of generosity," time is also a gift in short supply in today's families. Virtually all research and our own experience tells us the number one condition for kids to thrive is a positive youth-adult relationship . . . a consistent relationship with mature, competent, caring adults. Often, but not always, this is a parent, possibly a member of the extended family, teacher, trainer, counselor, coach, etc. The message is: BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE! The one-to-one relationship thrives on high expectations but dies with pushing - it is a fine balancing act and one that constantly changes as children and youth develop socially, emotionally, cognitively, and physically.

The "Sage on Stage" model doesn't work well here - be mindful of the "telling teacher." Remember the teacher, standing before a bored class, talking about the meaning of life? He asked the students to tell him the difference between ignorance and apathy. Finally, a sleepy student in the back of the room said, "I don't know and I don't care!" [Students would] rather teachers be partners than preachers - a sounding board to inspire, model, be a source of motivation. While we think we are teaching our kids all about life they are reminding us what life is all about - let's listen! And remember what the Brandeis Rabbi said in a recent service: "We make a living by getting [material goods for our family, etc.] but we make a life by giving." We need to find the time for our kids. There is no substitute.

About engagement. We have a sign at the entry to our Center that reads, "When one tugs at a single strand in nature, one finds it attached to the rest of the world." [John Muir]
Let's put the one-to-one relationship in context. Kids grow up in families of all kinds. Families live in communities - communities are in states, in countries, in the world. We are all really after the improved quality of life for children, youth, and families. For our kids to thrive and make positive choices, we want to create safe, just, and compassionate communities where young people are engaged in full and healthy ways.

What do caring, competent adults look for? What are the immutable building blocks for the development of healthy personalities, families, and communities?

Here are five points to focus on for kids, families, and communities to "stay on track":
  • SENSE OF BELONGING (ATTACHMENT)
"To be part of and to be from a safe caring home." A place where you can take risks - venture forth - fail courageously! A place of love and acceptance, values and expectations.

  • INDEPENDENCE (AUTONOMY)
Education and skills are the single most important determinants for success in labor market. The demand is constantly changing.

  • MASTERY (ACHIEVEMENT)
Active, project-based learning opportunities. "Nothing succeeds like success and nothing recedes like success." Parents constantly assessing the standards and goals of our public education system and associated programs for "out of school time."

  • GENEROSITY (ALTRUISM)
Service, diversity, social kindness - many tools and lessons to share about civic engagement and social fabric.

  • INTERDEPENDENCE (ONE WORLD)
Air, water, earth, "not in my backyard" (NIMBY) - the smallness of our "one world" versus seeing the world as first world, second world, and third world.


I'd like to close with a quote by Henry James: "The aim of life is to spend it on something that outlives itself."

Parents and communities of adults investing in our young people must surely do that.


 

CYD Journal © 2001